1. They force people to smile during the 8 am service.
2. It's hard to say with dignity, "The sermon today will be given by Brother Umpa-Doody."
3. Whoopee cushions inevitably appear under pew cushions
4. Sermons take a lot longer when they are in pantomime.
5. Dribble glasses used during the communion service.
6. They have to pay janitors extra to get all of the silly string off the ceiling.
7. The kids pop their balloons during closing prayer.